Well, Tulsa's last magician got his start at four
Pulled a quarter from his own ear and spun it on the floor
Since there's no good tricks
but old ones and lyin' ain't that hard
He saved up all his quarters and he bought a deck of cards


And he learned ragtime piano
though his teacher thought him slow
Got a black belt in karate from a pawn shop video
And he'd practice all his worst mistakes
in a dirty bathroom mirror
And when his mother drank, he learned to disappear

And his classmates thought him funny
and good at sleight of hand
He had this grand finale that they refused to understand
It's hard to tell the whole truth of a family sawed in half
And that's why Tulsa's last magician left his home so fast

Well, down and out in Reno, broke in Santa Fe
Turnin' tricks on Los Sueñeros out in the Californ-i-ay
Well, they pushed him up against a wall
and said buddy, get a grip
So he learned to set himself on fire on the Las Vegas strip

And he wandered down to Tampa, blew everybody's minds
'Cause the crowd was cheap and easy there
on beer and blow and wine
Said, "I wonder where my dollar went
how'd the flower bloom so fast? "
Said, "I can't reveal my secret, "
though they rarely failed to ask

And the crowd all thought him funny
and good at sleight of hand
He had this grand finale
they refused to understand
They demanded explanation
when the card pulled was their own
And that's why Tulsa's last magician
lost his faith and headed home

Well, he said he'd learn computers
like his second foster dad
And free-range all the rabbits
that were livin' in his hat
His investments all went swimmingly
he had the boss on hidden strings
His promotions were a certainty
he could make the numbers sing

Now time and space is easy for magic to control
Still, it was forty years of workin'
'fore he noticed he was old
Now his great escaping act is just untying both his shoes
And most days he's in the easy chair, yellin' at the news

And the weatherman is funny and talkin' with his hands
But black clouds are comin' in, and no one understands
That somebody's true religion's always someone else's joke
And that's why Tulsa's last magician
pretty much went up in smoke

So, friend, if you're the kind
that thinks no one quite gets quite what you are
Like you're a cobbler or a mechanic
in this age of flying cars
If you think that you see right behind
what's right before our eyes
You might be a small town's last magician in disguise

And we need you to be funny
please be good at sleight of hand
'Cause there's a grand finale we can't hope to understand
And there's a one in fifty-two chance
it's all magic and it's true
So won't you please help us believe in you?