I decorate my stall each year
In hopes that Santa will appear
But he won’t take a trip
Up my toilet, oh no.

I know that Santa will explore
In Hufflepuff and Gryffindor
And even leave the Slytherins
A few lumps of coal

Every year my Christmas Spirit dies
Cause I don’t get a Christmas surprise

Chorus
Santa’s getting brown cookies from me today
Slightly lumpy, not quite chocolate fecal decay
I know the cookies look delicious, they made you drool
But guess what Santa, they’re the defecation of the school

I’m sorry Santa but you see
That you have been ignoring me
I haven’t got a single gift
That I have asked for.

You brought me a crying boy
But I would rather have a toy
Unless I had the chance
To get with Harry and score

When you get an urgent bathroom rush
You will find that no one here has flushed

Chorus

Jingle Bells, Santa smells
You thought you were fly
Now you’re through
Cause you ate poo
And you have Ecoli

Hermione Granger
Hermione Granger
Hermione Granger
Eat poo too

HEY!