I′m not trying to be funny
This is how I look all the time
You make me want to wake the dead
Then sly it to conversations
So everyone thinks we're bleeding out badly
When in reality we were just dancing on it
Because I′m a million people from one minute to the next

I like fast cars and sambuca
I write songs (ain't seen you for days now)
I'm half as good as I think I am
And twice as good as you think I am
(still find your hair on my clothes)
And I′m standing on ceremony

I′m the soundtrack to your university years like Lily Allen
I've got so much shit around my bed
you′d better call me Tracey
I'm Paul Heaton
Because the only thing you′ll ever hear 'round here is magic
(Magic, magic, magic, magic)

I′m Liam Howlett in 1991
Driving 'round Romford in a Ferrari Testarossa
Now that's iconic
But I′m nothing like them
(Am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?)
I′m just a plagiarist
Just a fucking plagiarist

I remember London
I remember the bells
From across the chambermaid's quarters
It′s like they was ringing by themselves
(Fucking plagiarist)

I'm the soundtrack to your university years like Lily Allen
I′ve got so much shit around my bed
you'd better call me Tracey
I′m Paul Heaton
Because the only thing you'll ever hear round here
is magic (am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?)
(Magic, magic, magic, magic)

I'm Liam Howlett in 1991
Driving ′round Romford in a Ferrari Testarossa
Now that′s iconic
But I'm nothing like them
(am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?)
I′m just a plagiarist
I'm always outnumbered
(just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)
But never outgunned

Broken into this dark, broken into my home
(But never outgunned)
Lazing into your head, broken down all I know
(But never outgunned)
Lazing into my place, bracing in through your heart
(But never outgunned)
Lately into your head, makes her way through my blood

I like fast cars and sambuca
And I never forget a face
(holding on to your heart, folding into your soul)
I write songs
(Bracing into that bed, bed with someone you don′t know)
"Tallahassee" by Leif Vollebekk is my favourite number
(Lazing into that bed, bubbling to that bag)
I'm standing on ceremony
That′s all you need to know about me

I'm the soundtrack to your university years
(Broken into this dark, broken into my home)
(Lazing into your head, broken down all I know)
I'm Paul Heaton
(Lazing into my place, bracing in through your heart)
(Lately into your head, makes her way through my blood)

I′m Liam Howlett
(Holding on to your heart, folding into your soul)
Ferrari Testarossa
(Bracing into that bed, bed, with someone you don′t know)
Now that's iconic
(Lazing into that bed, bubbling to that bag) no
I′m nothing like them
I'm just a plagiarist
(Lazing into that bed, bubbling to that bag)

(Just a plagiarist)
(Just a plagiarist)
(Just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)
(Just a plagiarist)
(Just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)
(Just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist, I′m just a plagiarist)

If I don't see you (just a plagiarist)
In Tallahassee
(just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)
(Just a plagiarist) am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?
I′m always outnumbered
But never outgunned

120 years now
And one more for good luck
Won't you wear that bamboo dress, babe?
When you come to pick me up
You under the bam, under the boo
Under those bamboo trees
With you just jingling and jangling
Your car keys