I′m not trying to be funny

This is how I look all the time

You make me want to wake the dead

Then sly it to conversations

So everyone thinks we're bleeding out badly

When in reality we were just dancing on it

Because I′m a million people from one minute to the next

I like fast cars and sambuca

I write songs (ain't seen you for days now)

I'm half as good as I think I am

And twice as good as you think I am

(still find your hair on my clothes)

And I′m standing on ceremony

I′m the soundtrack to your university years like Lily Allen

I've got so much shit around my bed

you′d better call me Tracey

I'm Paul Heaton

Because the only thing you′ll ever hear 'round here is magic

(Magic, magic, magic, magic)

I′m Liam Howlett in 1991

Driving 'round Romford in a Ferrari Testarossa

Now that's iconic

But I′m nothing like them

(Am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?)

I′m just a plagiarist

Just a fucking plagiarist

I remember London

I remember the bells

From across the chambermaid's quarters

It′s like they was ringing by themselves

(Fucking plagiarist)

I'm the soundtrack to your university years like Lily Allen

I′ve got so much shit around my bed

you'd better call me Tracey

I′m Paul Heaton

Because the only thing you'll ever hear round here

is magic (am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?)

(Magic, magic, magic, magic)

I'm Liam Howlett in 1991

Driving ′round Romford in a Ferrari Testarossa

Now that′s iconic

But I'm nothing like them

(am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?)

I′m just a plagiarist

I'm always outnumbered

(just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)

But never outgunned

Broken into this dark, broken into my home

(But never outgunned)

Lazing into your head, broken down all I know

(But never outgunned)

Lazing into my place, bracing in through your heart

(But never outgunned)

Lately into your head, makes her way through my blood

I like fast cars and sambuca

And I never forget a face

(holding on to your heart, folding into your soul)

I write songs

(Bracing into that bed, bed with someone you don′t know)

"Tallahassee" by Leif Vollebekk is my favourite number

(Lazing into that bed, bubbling to that bag)

I'm standing on ceremony

That′s all you need to know about me

I'm the soundtrack to your university years

(Broken into this dark, broken into my home)

(Lazing into your head, broken down all I know)

I'm Paul Heaton

(Lazing into my place, bracing in through your heart)

(Lately into your head, makes her way through my blood)

I′m Liam Howlett

(Holding on to your heart, folding into your soul)

Ferrari Testarossa

(Bracing into that bed, bed, with someone you don′t know)

Now that's iconic

(Lazing into that bed, bubbling to that bag) no

I′m nothing like them

I'm just a plagiarist

(Lazing into that bed, bubbling to that bag)

(Just a plagiarist)

(Just a plagiarist)

(Just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)

(Just a plagiarist)

(Just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)

(Just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist, I′m just a plagiarist)

If I don't see you (just a plagiarist)

In Tallahassee

(just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist, just a plagiarist)

(Just a plagiarist) am I gonna see you at the Troubadour?

I′m always outnumbered

But never outgunned

120 years now

And one more for good luck

Won't you wear that bamboo dress, babe?

When you come to pick me up

You under the bam, under the boo

Under those bamboo trees

With you just jingling and jangling

Your car keys