But I'm still afraid to lose this mess

And I've been
Wonderin' why I don't feel the same way as I wanted
And maybe I'm settin' myself up to failin' and I've been
Waitin' for somethin' worth it all
that I know I'll never get
But in the moment

I was sure I felt what I told myself
Now it all makes sense
'Cause maybe I was never in love
I thought I could tell, but I guess somewhere
I lost all of myself
And maybe I was never in love