Etherial Presence

I watch the surface of this endless river in which
I'm plunged to my waist
Through its body the world observes
The contrasts of her face
I ban to sip from the water
It's clear and cold like the celestial part
I see the reflexion of my upper half from above
The other half with the hind limbs, the gonads
The buttocks and the split between
Them doesn't exist anymore
But does it means I'm less complete now?
Now I have twice my hands
Twice the two cerebral hemispheres
With this atypical structure of mine - two halves meaning
More than the whole
I estrange myself from any breathing creature
I vanish like rolls of smoke to the sky
But for me there is no more sky
I'm prepared for the final challenge
Which will drive me to the gates of an magnificent citadel
By then, I'll leave behind past, prich, hopes and pain